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Cynthia Lopinto Feature Article Leave a comment 1,798 Views

By CYN LoPINTO
Editor-in-chief, gerontologist

If you notice that you seem to talk yourself out of doing things and going places, you are not alone. A common complaint for many of us as we get older, is that we don’t much feel like going out. Coming up with reasons why NOT to accept an invitation or attend an event is easy. Sometimes excuses pop into our head before even considering how going out might actually do us good.

While one of the advantages of aging is being able to pick and choose how to spend one’s time, saying “no” too quickly can be really limiting. Who knows what we could be missing out on? If we already have a negative notion of how something might turn out before going into it, we’re probably not giving things a fair shake. Simply by allowing ourselves to see the positive side of an evening out with our partner or friends, may affect our decision. Don’t just assume.

I remember sitting down and talking about this with my mother years ago. She remembered fighting the impulse to turn down friends’ invitations soon after my father died. She was fine with staying in and reading her book or watching television. She wasn’t necessarily lonely and enjoyed her time relaxing. It took a lot of effort in planning to go out and seemed like a hassle. But, she said that she always enjoyed herself once she was out and glad she had decided to go. And on top of all that, she had lots of new memories. Her message was that fighting the urge to remain stagnant is the most important thing you can do to age successfully. I have to agree.

The security of staying home and being safe in our own space is comforting. We all need a place to unwind away from the pressures of the outside world. But being social and leaving our home to have experiences with friends and family is key to emotional growth. We should not deprive ourselves of this. We need to consider saying “yes” the next time a loved one requests our company. Odds are that we will be glad we did.

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Cynthia Lopinto

Cyn LoPinto, M.A. is a gerontologist focusing on significant issues affecting older adults and their families. Her areas of interest include lifestyle enrichment, family dynamics, and caregiver support. Cyn has worked in both the recreational and healthcare industries.